Ok, this really is crap now.

I still don’t know.

After months of chasing, and nagging, and asking nicely, and following things up. I still don’t know.

I spoke to the mental health team today. As they were sent the request for the report so late, the psychiatrist and CPN only had the chance to put something together on Tuesday, so it’s only been sent off today. So it will only arrive at OH on Monday or Tuesday. So I *might* just have a decision by the end of next week. I’m supposed to fucking start a week on Monday.

I’ve been calm, and I’ve been patient, and I’ve kept my cool. And I’m still doing all of those things. But this is shit. I mean.. really shit. I’m not going to lose my cool, and I know it’s something I just have to deal with and that I can’t change. But I’m tired of it now. It’s emotionally exhausting, and incredibly disheartening.

I’m having to pack, and prepare, as if my first day will be in 10 days time… Whilst being aware that it may all be for no reason. And that’s really hard.

So I am keeping it together, and I’m fine. But this is a really crap situation.